I don’t know if anyone is still reading this, but I will be updating my blog soon with the latest info. But here’s what has transpired since my last entry:

-moved to Birmingham Alabama, got an apartment, started seminary, joined a church, met a girl, am still dating that girl, left the church, am now looking for a new church, got a good restuarant job, almost quit that job, but decided to stay. Currently I’m taking summer Greek at Beeson.

So many thoughts these days. I’ll write something soon, for anyone who may read, or just for me, so I can get thoughts out there.

Often we as Christians are guilty of “little sins”. What I mean by this is we look around us and see people committing murder, adultery and theft, the “big sins”, and we consider that we are doing fine because we don’t outwardly participate in such things. We feel even better when we see other Christians around us participating in that same practice, and surmise that we are all Christians, and we all stumble, and even my pastor or youth leader is doing this, so it must be ok for me. We are active against issues like drunkenness or drug use, yet things like gluttony and materialism don’t seem to be treated with any kind of severity. My goal here is not to tear apart every little thing that we as Christians participate in, which is wrong. I myself could condemn myself if that were the case. But there is one particular issue I would like to address, and that is in the area of breaking copyright laws in the media.

This is an issue among Christians which I have had a chance to observe for several years now, and I have come to feel more and more strongly about it due to the number of Christians who participate openly and unashamedly in it. What I would like to bring out is (1)how this whole problem came about, (2)how Christians tend to justify themselves, (3)why this is a deep heart issue Christians need to take seriously, and (4)what we must do to change.

I have known Christians who have participated in several methods of breaking copyright laws. One simply gives away his CDs once he has copied them onto his computer. Another plugs his IPOD into his friend’s computers at college and obtains entire collections of music for himself at no charge. Another is very computer savvy and has a stack of bootleg DVDs next to his computer for movies which are still in the theater, or were downloaded by a fellow pirate and posted on the Internet. Another person’s friend really enjoyed the latest Michael W. Smith worship album while riding in his car, so he burned a copy for his friend. After all, it’s worship, right? And what’s the harm anyway?

Some of you are wondering if the activities just stated are actually wrong. It is our duty as Christians and as people under human government to be aware of the laws of the land. Here is a good website which helps to explain the laws in terms any of us can understand, and I suggest you look into it, especially if you have been participating in these activities simply out of ignorance, which I think is only a small minority.   http://www.teamcombooks.com/mp3handbook/5.htm

These are only a few examples of what takes place among Christians. I can understand all of this happening among non-believers who don’t care about the laws as long as they don’t get caught. But this is common practice among Christians. How did this problem come about? It probably first became prevalent with the advent of computers and MP3 players. You can now buy music online, there are a host of websites where you can find songs(legal and non), and anyone with a computer less than 10 years old can copy their music collection onto their computer, and throw in onto their IPOD. I think the reason it is so prevalent now is that it is SO convenient. Anyone can do it. Most computers come with CD burning capabilities, and many free ware programs are available for copying music.

Not only can anyone do it, but everyone seems to be doing it. And a lot of Christians who openly take a stand on this issue are considered to be a “weaker brother”, or just plain legalistic. But I guess I should answer this question first: Is it really a sin?

According to the laws of our land, it is illegal to copy copyright protected music for anything other than personal use. You can’t give away copies, and you can’t make a copy for yourself and give away the real recording. You can’t take copies from a friend, burn it on your computer, then give back the CD to your friend. You can find these laws expanded upon via the like above. I really encourage you to find out for yourself. But for the rest of this blog I’m going to assume that I am correct in my interpretation of these laws. If you have any doubts, stop reading right now and find out for yourself.

According to Romans 13, the authorities and their laws are established by God. To put it another way, God’s laws for the land are mediated to us by the government. So when the government states a law, unless it conflicts with the laws clearly stated in His Word, it is as if God were giving us that law. That’s why Paul says in Romans 13:2 “Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment” Later, in verse 5, we are given two reasons why we should obey these authorities. One is to avoid God’s wrath. This wrath could refer to eternal judgment as least in part, but textually it seems to also refer to the “sword” that the government has been given by God to punish wrongdoers. In the case of copyright laws, the government cannot enforce these laws everywhere. So as far as human punishment goes, that motivation for obeying is basically non-existent. So what is the other reason in verse 5? “…but also for the sake of conscience.” Many Christians, because of their constant practice in this area, have seared their consciences. They will purposely stay ignorant of the laws, and not listen when someone speaks out on it in order to not feel guilty about it. So when the fear of human wrath and the weight of conscience are out of the way, there is not longer a motivation for anyone to obey the laws of the land. Many Christians certainly don’t seem to fear God in this area, and it relegated to a practice that is OK.

So, all of that to say, it’s wrong. It’s very wrong. Yet it gets worse. But before I tell you how it gets worse, here are some common excuses I hear, and some ways that Christians justify such a practice.

Excuse #1: Everyone is doing it. Even my youth pastor or super-spiritual friend. They feel no conviction, so why should I, who am much less spiritual than they are?

Most people wouldn’t actually say this, but it’s what a lot of people are thinking inside. Perhaps you don’t feel that you can stand up to that person and confront them, so you go along with it. For the sake of your conscience and theirs, don’t allow proddings of the Spirit via your conscience to be quenched. Just because good Christians are openly doing it, does not mean that it’s right.

Excuse #2: Why would they sell computers that have CD and DVD burning capabilities, and release programs who’s only use seems to be the copying of music, legal or non?

You can take just about anything and use it beyond it’s intended us and do something wrong with it. That doesn’t mean that the wrong use of it is OK. The purpose of driving is to get from point A to point B. Yet if you wanted to you could drive 150 miles per hour through a school zone, simply because you drive a fast new car. It’s still wrong. Just because you are easily able to do something wrong doesn’t make it any less wrong. Know the laws, and seek to abide by them as coming from God.

Excuse #3: I don’t know the laws, and I choose to remain ignorant of them so my conscience doesn’t bother me.

People won’t say this either, but it’s what many people think. If you’re reading this article and this is your excuse, then you’ve taken a step in the right direction. But search your heart for why exactly it is so important that you be able to copy and steal music as you please.

There are many other excuses, and I’ve only given you a few. There are many reasons to not notice the elephant in the room, but we all know it’s there. But what’s at the heart of this excuse-making disobedience? It should be enough if I simply said that it’s wrong, so stop doing it. Obey the command. But as Christians we have even more motivation. And the breaking of any law has vast implications for those who claim that Christ is their Lord and sole satisfaction. Let me explain.

What is going on when someone decides to break a command, to do something their know to be wrong? Let’s take the example of illegal music or movie copying in the life of Bill. Bill borrows a friends CD, a CD he really likes. In fact, it’s a worship album he wants to use for his quiet time in the morning. Before giving it back to his friend, he makes a copy of it on his computer for his own personal use, adding it to his collection. Here is why this is so wrong:

1. He is stealing. Someone has taken the time to write the songs, and record them. A lot of money has gone into this process. Recording companies are mostly businesses, and can’t just give music away for free. Because of the nature of music and current technology, many of his albums are bootlegged. The laws say that this is stealing. The laws are printed on the side of the CD cover. It’s flashed across the screen several times when you watch a movie in an effort to emphasize the fact that if you are caught you will pay through the nose.

When I was in Uganda music copying was common practice. In fact, it’s difficult for many artists to make it in that country because they can pay to record an album and distribute it. But as soon as 10 copies are sold everyone who owns a computer has the album. So he stops writing songs because he needs to make a living. You may say, “But people are too poor to buy a CD!” True. But people don’t need the latest music or worship album in order to live. Yet it’s treated like a necessity to many people, even in America, as if they were stealing a loaf of bread from the market to survive. They break the law of God for the sake of their entertainment.

2. He is not trusting God and is de-valuing Christ. Some of you are out there and you know such things are illegal. Yet it doesn’t seem to harm people(which it DOES, as seen in the last point), so it’s OK. That’s how a lot of Christians justify things like breaking traffic laws, getting a little drunk, or viewing pornographic material. What’s going on in the person’s head is this: I’m not sure if Christ is going to be enough for me. I’m starting to fret about how I will be content, how I can be satisfied. The person starts to show unbelief in the promises of God, instead of exercising faith in what God has promised to be for him. He believes that he will be more content, more satisfied if he copies that CD, so he does it.

Scott Hafemann has suggested that the commands of God are really promises in disguise. If that’s true, what is the promise given to us in the command, Do not pirate media? What is the promise given to the person above, who is commanded to not copy his friend’s worship album? The promise is this: God is saying to Him, “I will be enough for you! I will satisfy you! Don’t fret! All things will work for your good, and you will be the happiest when you give up everything and follow me. Trust me, my son.” When anyone breaks a law, he is believing the deceitful promise of pleasure, and is disbelieving God. And if it’s a worship album, how do you think God must feel when we come to worship him with stolen goods? It’s like offering to God a sheep from another man’s flock and calling it worship.

3. He is hardening his conscience. When I was a student at Moody Bible Institute, there were many opportunities given to cheat. They relied very much on the student’s conscience to keep them honest. By God’s grace, I never did cheat. One of the reasons I didn’t is because I knew how easy it would become to continue doing it once I started. The conscience is easily defiled. The question for you is this: How much is a clean conscience worth to you? Is it worth not having that album? Is it worthy throwing away your bootlegged movies and CDs? Or have you also bowed the knee the god of entertainment like most of America?

  So the issue is much deeper than simply breaking a law. Participating in these activities indicates that you have a hardened conscience, and have a heart that still does not fully trust in Christ as your sufficiency. God has provided his greatest provision for you in His Son Jesus, and has promised to be all that you need. Will you trust him in this area?

I am open to correction on what I have written here, if I am wrong in any of these areas. I’m just very concerned at the blind eye many Christians turn to this issue, instead of being set apart as the holy people were are. The sin is indicative of a much deeper heart issue. That is my concern here.

If we claim that Christ is our “all in all”, and there is no greater thing than knowing Christ, then our lives must speak this truth loudly. Let us stop being hypocritical, and take a long hard look at our lives(and our music collection), and see what we are valuing more than Jesus. Some of us need to do some serious repenting. May God soften our dulled consciences and awaken us to where we have wandered off, that we might return to God and trust him. If you have trusted Christ for your eternity, can you also trust Him for your entertainment?

Yes, my five month trip to Uganda is now at an end. I’ve been home for several weeks now, and an finally getting back to this blog. I hope to be more faithful with it in the future. Here’s how I know I’m back in the states: I’m sitting in a Caribou Coffee shop sipping decaf, and it happens to be open mic night. The place is very full of mostly high school aged kids, with people who have trouble staying on pitch strumming the guitar. The only thing missing is the synthesized drum set…

Coming back to the States wasn’t the shock I thought it would be. What I do feel is that in Uganda I came to a number of convictions, and really underwent a lot of good change. Being back in familiarity, I feel the constant pull to spiritual regression. The pull is to just be the same, to not live out any real change. Oswald Chambers in one place talks about the real power not being on the mountain top, but in the descent. How are you when you come down? How are you doing when you face the humdrum of life making war against all spiritual passion and sanctification? That’s what I’m facing now. So in an effort to combat this, I wrote a number of clearly stated resolutions for myself. And for this last entry on Uganda, I will share these resolutions with you. They are stated in the Edwardsian fashion, so bear with me. Each of these resolutions was expanded upon in previous entries. They are basically a compilation of the most significant things I learned which I want to stay with me.

Resolutions from Uganda, by Jeremy Huff, 11/24/07

1. Resolved, to fuel my heart with a passion for God’s global mission, and my own reflective mission.

2. Resolved, to always be involved in overseas missions in some way.

3. Resolved, to be a reflection of God’s glory wherever I am, and to use my house, job, family, and church as beacons to the lost world around me.

4. Resolved, to be fully and unhesitatingly obedient to God in whatever he lays on my heart and mind to do, no matter how risky or radical it may seem from an earthly perspective, and to constantly be breaking down the barriers to disobedience.

5. Resolved, to care more about the pursuit of holiness and God than about what people may think of me.

6. Resolved, when I feel God working in a given moment to make full use of that moment, and get all that he is giving, wasting no conversation, thought, or reading.

7. Resolved, to not entertain thoughts about not doing something God has told me to do, and to not entertain thoughts about doing things that God has told me not to do.

8. Resolved, to carry out these resolutions by the grace of God and be a doer, a TRUE doer, not just a feeler or a writer or a hearer who deceives himself.

 In future entries I will address other issues I see around me, and things I face in seminary. For my next entry I want to expand upon why I believe it’s wrong for Christians to break copyright laws, one of those “little sins” which to me is indicative of a heart that does not trust God. I will continue to write a new post every week or so. Thanks to all of you who actually read this blog, and have been praying for me.

Well, I made it! This is my last post for Uganda. On Friday I will head into the big city, where I will partner with a missionary who will let me tag along, and will put me to work for a few days. I’ll also be preaching on Sunday at one of his churches he works with. I fly out on Monday morning, and will touch down around 2:00 pm this coming Tuesday. I can’t believe it’s over! These last few days are sorrowful to leave, yet I am more and more feeling ready to go home.

This week we filled out an evaluation form which included many questions about what we learned. I typed it out, and I decided just to let you read that. It will give you a lot of insight into what I’ve learned and experienced during this time. It does not include everything, but there’s a lot there.  I’m answering a series of questions, so if you are pushed for time, just scroll to the different questions to get to the ones you really want to read. Or, if you have time and really do want to take in every detail(mom), feel free to read it all! But for those who have been supporting me here and are still reading this, I cannot thank you enough, and your invest in me I can say for sure will reap eternal results in my life and in the lives of those I minister to. I will be visiting FVBC and GBC, for those who are reading this from those churches, so I will see you all soon. Praise God for His great work! I’m so thankful to him.

I think I will do one more entry on Uganda some time next week when I get home, giving a few closing remarks and telling you what is next for me in greater detail, and describing my coming-home experiences. Here now is the evaluation. Enjoy!

 1. Why do you think God desired that you go through this training?

When I came here I did not have many expectations. I didn’t know what to expect. Basically, I came to have my eyes opened up to cross-culturally ministry. I came to have my worldview shaken up a bit, to see what it was like to live in a different culture, and to just allow God to use the time to do whatever he would do in my life. Now looking back, God certainly did all of these things, but He had even more things in store for me. I believe that God wanted me to go through this training for several reasons. First, he did it to show me that I am able to live in another culture comfortably. I have really gotten used to life here at New Hope, and I could go for much longer in this environment. I’m not dying to get home to the West. I feel that I have been able to interact with the people here successfully, adjust to a different way of life, and ponder how I can change and do ministry in the midst of that. Another reason he had me go through was to get a bigger heart for missions. I really do have a greater heart for this, and I see it as more of a possibility for my future. God wanted me to get this. The life of an overseas minister has become more clear to me what it is, and what it is really like. God also wanted me to understand things like racial reconciliation, to grow in my teaching ability, to get a snapshot of the small, struggling village churches, to get away from Western life and all that that entails, to get guys like Keith to do surgery on my soul, etc., etc. The other reasons will be made more clear in the following questions.

2. What is the most significant change in your life from when you first came here to who you are now? Why did this impact you as it did?

It’s hard to say exactly, but the first thing that comes to mind right now has to do with my own life calling, where God is leading me to serve Him. That’s been big on my thoughts the whole time, and many different things have contributed to this. I might just be saying this now because it’s the most recent things that has been on my thoughts. But my own life purpose has come to have much bigger and sharper meaning. I’ve known this, but it has become much more clear and focused for me. I exist to carry out God’s mission on this earth, to know and reflect His glory, and to broadcast His supremacy wherever He may put me. I have much more of a drive to do this when I get home, and in my future to live this out whether in mission or at home. This has to do with my thoughts on what things would be keeping me from leaving my country for missions. Many of my reasons for not going have been burned up when put up against my life purpose. The reason this impacted me is really a combination of the Institute, conversations with staff and others, being away from the West, and other things I can’t remember.

3. What are some of the other main things that have impacted your life as a result of your time studying in the Institute?

The racial reconciliation piece is something I will always remember. To see people freed from racism, unforgiveness for big hurts, and forgiveness of others was an amazing thing to see. It was big for me to see some of the effects that unforgiveness can have on people, and what a freeing thing it is to actually forgive and be free. My Western worldview was confronted in a few ways. Many of these ways I already knew were there. I know we have a lot of problems, and a lot of pride. But many of the things that were confronted had to do with secular American culture, which I as a Christian already acknowledged to be wrong, though the church in general has adopted many secular ideas from the culture. I have also learned to be gracious and patient with some of the teaching/teachers, partly due to content at times, and partly due to cultural/stylistic differences at other times.

4. Explain the effects that some of the other various teachings have had on you.

One thing has been how to live out the gospel in a poverty-ridden culture, such as in the villages. What is the right way to minister to them? People seem to fall on one of the two extremes, of either just preaching, or just feeding. What I came to on this is that we need to reflect the character of God wherever we are, which means serving physical needs, and speaking the message. Both. The physical ministry is not merely a MEANS to the spiritual, but is itself a part of living out who we are as Christians. Biblical manhood was good for me to think about. It really sharpened for me what it means to be a true man in my decision making, interaction with women, integrity in living, dilligence, etc. As it relates to the Fatherhood of God. I had a good father growing up, and I don’t feel that I really struggled to accept God as my Father. I think I have grown in this area, and have a much more biblical basis for how I would live as a spiritual father to others as a single man.

5. How have the truths that you have learned been playing out practically in your life? What truths are you going to seek to apply further and how?

It’s hard to work it out practically at the moment because I don’t feel that I have a really good context in which to live out these particular truths at the moment. What I feel it is doing is laying a foundation from which to live out these truths when I get home, or as I ponder future ministry to come. In the future, here are the things I will seek to live out. I should try to adopt spiritual children(physical someday perhaps as well) and bring God’s Fatherhood to those who don’t have it, especially to those who don’t have good father through which to mediate God’s Fatherhood to them. I really have a strong desire to reach out to the community in which I live. Another thing has been for me to live with a global heart for the nations. Whatever ministry I find myself in, I want to keep this in sharp focus.

6. What are some of the main things that have impacted your life as a result of living here (outside of class)? How have you been challenged and changed as a result?

The church has impacted my life, more from a need standpoint. I really have a heart to more work with the churches that remain inert, and want to mobilize them to reach their communities and beyond. I want to see God’s people worship BETTER, which is true in an American context as well. I’ve gone from being critical to being more understanding and really wanting to help. Along with the life calling issue, living in a different culture for a long period of time has been an impactful thing to me as well.

7. How has God used those you live with to impact or challenge you throughout the course?

It has been so good to share a place with Matthew. He has opened my eyes to a lot of Ugandan culture, giving me an “inside look” at a number of things. He has confirmed the truth of many things to me as well that are taught in class regarding different cultural things, and really has just brought reality to me. I can often just be in the clouds with the culture, and he will just tell me what people are really thinking, and what things are REALLY like. He’s been a good friend here as well. I have discussed so many issues with him, and I’ve come to respect His thoughts and opinions, as well as the struggles that come with living with a westerner.

8. How has God used the other students to challenge you?

Some students have challenged me in the area of just loving them. Some are hard for me to love, and God has convicted me in this area and really enabled me to change on this. I love seeing how the Africans worship and just love to sing His praise, and be engaged in it. I’ve really appreciated some of the struggles that my fellow students have had, and have been challenged by their openeness and humility in dealing with them. In the West, I think it would be much harder to dig out some of the issues because people are too concerned about looking good, staying reserved, not appearing to significantly struggle, and saving face. We had an environment here where we could be open, and be exposed. That is so valuable, and I’ve been really challenged by that.

9. How has spending time with a family been used to impact you? The children? What have you learned? What have been cultural challenges you have faced?

Working with Calvary family has been informative for me. Getting to know some of the kids, and becoming familiar with their lives and some of their struggles has been good for me to see, as well as being very challenging to deal with. It’s always a growing experience to enter a new ministry context where I have to build relationships. One thing I learned is that I couldn’t approach this type of thing that same way I would a group in the States. I couldn’t just sit down with them and talk, no matter how good it was. Relationship is so important here, and based on my time here, I found that I had to just work on the relational side first, and just live life with them. I found it hard to talk with them a lot, because, especially at the beginning, they didn’t trust me or know who I was. They warmed up to me later on, which was nice. I found that many of the children really aren’t showing any authentic Christian fruit, and many just go through the motions, and do the bare minimum to be accepted as a christian in this community. Confronting that in the future will be a challenge. It will take just a lot of time and effort to reach them; some real, dedicated, all-of-life discipleship is needed as the Spirit works on their hearts.

10. What have you learned from the family parents and other staff members?

From the family parents I’ve learned more just as it relates to children, as stated in the last question. I really appreciate and respect their job. I’ve learned quite a bit from the western staff in particular, because they are coming from my own context, and I have learned a lot as they deal with issues from a Western background in a culturally appropriate way. I’ve seen their patience and sacrifice in giving up their own culture, and it’s been good to see how real missionaries live, work, and think on the field. Especially good on this has been seeing the culturally difficulties that face westerners in this African context, and how that can be a draining, tough thing, which each of them has learned, and must continue to learn, how to deal with. Keith has also been a great mentor of sorts during my time here. He’s been a good sounding board for me, and has revealed a lot about my own heart and needs. I have fed off of his advice, and have learned a lot about family life from seeing how he leads his household.

11. What have you been challenged in and learned from the leadership of New Hope?

Jay has been one with an inspiring vision. I’ve learned more from what he has done than what he has said, same with Jonnes. I like that they both are firm in their convictions yet humble in their ideas, big in their visions, and God-centered in how they do things. They have humility in what they know they are gifted in and what they are not gifted in. So really, I’ve just seen good examples of leadership from these guys. The bigness of the vision. Also to see how they’re not trying to take over Uganda, or change the culture per se, or make a name for themselves, or get power, or be popular. These are not easy, and I’ve been most challenged in their example.

12. What will be the greatest obstacles that you will face upon leaving here that might hinder you ability to fully live out the things that you have learned? What can you do to prepare to face these obstacles?

I suppose another change that results from being away is a re-sensitization to materialism. Going back to the west it’s so easy to slip into that. One obstacle is worldliness. As I am again exposed to the media I can become dull to sin and it’s effect on my mind, heart, and affections. The other challenge will be to become consumed with America and the church there that I minimize the needs in other cultures, and especially minimizing my own duty in missions. In general, it will be the fact that I have changed, and I want to stay changed, and I need to put things in place that will allow me to do so. To face these obstacles, one thing I will do is, based on what I’ve just typed in the above questions, come up with some concise resolutions to live out when I get home, and remind myself of them regularly. I also need to stay up to date on what is happening gospel-wise in other countries, to keep my heart going out. Probably the greatest thing that will help me to live it out is my simply DOING it. As I begin doing it, it will more and more get into my system. You know it by doing it. So it will be a matter of setting patterns of outreach, patterns of discipline, and getting people around me who will push me forward in this area. As I establish a new life in Alabama, I will do my best to make it an environment conducive to powerful, outward gospel living.

13. If you could go back to when you first began the course, what would you change about yourself, your attitude, or your heart now in retrospect?

I had a lot of pride when I started. I was willing to learn, but grew impatient with a lot of the teaching and just HOW it was taught, rather than being patient, and really seeing how I could learn and help my colleagues. I knew a lot of the stuff taught. If I could change it, I would come in with the attitude of it being OK that I know a lot of this stuff, and I should just take the time to go deeper into them, and interact with them on more of a critical level. I feel like coming in it took time for me to let my guard down, and be real and open enough to let others work on me, to be vulnerable, be hurt, and be broken down that I might build a better house, rather than a facade. I think another way I have changed then is that I’m much more open about my weaknesses, and much more desirous to work on them with the help of others. I have played the hiding game, where I hide my sin, and think I’m doing fine, rather than being exposed and confronted, opening up that I might be truly fixed on the inside, not just look good on the outer layers.

It’s going to be interesting when I get home. I look forward to seeing many of you.

A lot has happened this week on a number of fronts, which I will tell you amount momentarily. First, this is my second to last blog entry from Uganda. I’ll do a final one when I get home on November 20th, but I do plan to continue blogging every week, for those of you who have enjoyed reading or just want to keep track of what I’m doing. The entries might not be quite as substantial, but I plan on them being up every week. Also, I have some good new pictures up on my pictures page, so you can check those out if you like.

So this week, I learned how to ox plow, and I slaughtered my first chicken! The chicken really put up a fight as I was cutting it’s head off. Poor guy. But it fulfilled it’s purpose in life by feeding my stomach a few hours later.

 This week the Institute took a retreat to visit other children’s centers in Uganda, in order to critique the way they do things, and try to see some ways that we can learn from them and do things better here at New Hope. I must say, it was quite an enlightening experience. We visited children’s centers that are dirt poor yet getting by, and one that was quite wealthy. It’s interesting to be on this side of the money…to actually see where a lot of it goes. It starts by a group coming to your church to raise money for child sponsorship, or by a commercial on your TV screen showing starving children in Africa, and “for only a dollar a day you can give this child a better life…” type of emotional heart-string pulling. I got a chance to see where at least some of it goes. Some of it was good, and some of it I seriously question.

Here at New Hope, each child is sponsored by one person each, for $30 a month. Some kids don’t have sponsors, and their money has to be taken from parts of other children’s sponsorship. This money goes for basics like food, clothing, shelter, and education. More sponsorship is needed(if you’re interested, click on the New Hope link on the right). We visited two other centers that did things quite differently. One was actually pretty similar to New Hope. Their sponsorship comes from a parachurch organization which revolves around African children’s centers. There were suddle differences in how they run things, what they have their kids do as far as work, how they organize their family groups, and how they discipline the children. We actually spent the night at this place. It rained very hard, and my bed got soaked because of a large crack in the roof right above my bed. Good times in Africa.

We visited another children’s center which was very different from New Hope. They were much bigger, and much richer. They had a number of positives, but a lot of things that made me concerned. For example, each home is run by a family mother- not a father. They don’t believe in that, because they believe that a mother can do a better job, and will be more gentle with the kids(their own words). I don’t agree with this, but it is a constant problem even at New Hope to find enough good family fathers. So few are qualified to do it well. They solve the problem by simply not trying. This will have an effect on the kids in years to come. Other issue include the fact that they don’t make their kids work in gardens, they rarely if ever spank the kids, and they are given everything they get. They don’t work for it.

Probably the main thing that I didn’t like was how they raise money. Each child has 6-8 sponsors, and they can have up to 20 sponsors each. They organize choirs which travel to America and Europe to sing in churches and get donations. There is a strong emotional appeal in this, and they get a lot of money for it. There are at least two serious problems I see with this. First, exposing these kids to American life at that age can be devastating when they come home. To function and live in their own culture after that can really affect their life and direction, and cause them to dream about going back someday, a fantasy which is unrealistic and unwise for them. The second problem is this: Imagine you are sitting in church and this African children’s choir sings and asks for support. You hear that you can feed a child for only a dollar a day. You give your money, not knowing that your are giving to a ministry that in many ways spoils their children, doesn’t make them work, and doesn’t spank them, and your money represent the 15th sponsorship of this child. You money is not survival, it’s icing on their cake. I wonder if they make that known when they visit the churches. Having the children go and ask for money from the West feeds their own begging orphan heart mentality, and it also feeds the handout mentality of many in the West, who think that money will fix Africa, whereas that is really one of the primary things that is keeping much of Africa crippled.

So if you’re thinking about giving to one of these child causes, I would simply reccomend doing your homework, and make sure you know where your money is going. Don’t just seek to satisfy your conscience by giving it away. I would seek out smaller individual organizations(like New Hope Uganda!) to give to. That’s just my opinion. On a positive note, they are still a Christian ministry, and are ministering to a great need in Africa, as we at New Hope are, so we should seek to encourage each other and even work together when possible for this ministry. It is far better than leaving them on the streets.

The last thing I would like to say for this entry is something that has hit me recently regarding God’s “call” for my life personally. If you’ve been reading over the past few months, you know that missions has very much opened up to me, or rather I’ve opened up more to missions. I’ve been going through a process of tearing down the reasons to NOT do missions. Most, if not all of them, are bad reasons, based on overinfatuation with this present world, and closed-mindedness to new, different things that would drastically affect this one life I have to live. Gradually I’ve been able to identify these areas and the different forms they take, and eliminate the things that are in the way. In the way of what, you ask? What are these things standing in the way of? Not overseas missions, per se, but in the way of total obedience to God.

As Christians we are called to take up our cross and follow Jesus. Our life is a vapor, and we are not to be in love with this present world. Those who are make themselves enemies of God. We are all called to proclaim and know God’s manifold perfections wherever we are. That’s in fact why we exist. The important thing is that I do this whole-heartedly, and be willing to give up everything in a second because of obedience, and the value of what we have in Christ in comparison. So in short, what has happened for me is a gradually dying of many things that are keeping me from total obedience in my life calling, whatever that may be. It’s doesn’t really matter whether it’s in Africa or in America. Are you willing to give away your comfort, your strength, your finances, your security, for Christ? Are you willing to take that risk for the gospel? In eternity it will become clear whether we have made good choices in this area. I read Romans 8 this week: “I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing to the glory that is to be revealed.” Anything we give up in this life will be worth it a thousandfold in the next life. I feel that I’m more and more starting to really believe this. As a result, I feel a growing sense of freedom to drop everything for something like overseas missions, to give up these things, and not just be willing to do something, but actually DO it. To exercise simple obedience, and just go! Wherever that may be, I feel a real freedom to just do it. It’s a great feeling!

Well, it’s now official. I’ve been accepted into the M. Div. program at Beeson Divinity School for the Spring ‘08 semester. I had a pretty good feeling that I would get in, but it’s good to finally know for sure where I will be in two months, barring some massive unforseen event which would hinder me from going. For those of who who don’t know, Beeson is a part of Samford University in Birmingham, Alabama. The plan at this point is that I will be there for approximately 4 years to finish the program. I also recieved the base scholarship, which covers a little less than half the tuition, which I also expected would happen. I wouldn’t have even applied if I knew I wouldn’t get any kind of scholarship help. The thing that I didn’t expect was this: They are awarding me an extra $1,000 on my first bill to cover my moving costs to Birmingham! I didn’t think schools did that; but I was very grateful and surprised. I was beginning to cringe at what it would cost me just to move that far. So the next chapter for me seems to be in place. I’m sure most if not all of you would agree that it would be a good thing for me to go to seminary. It’s not for everyone, but I feel that it’s something I should do if I can, and I can at this stage in life, so I am!

The rest of this entry has little to do with Uganda, just to warn you. 

But let me share with you some of the reasons I am going to seminary. There are good and bad reasons to do just about anything, including the training I am in for. But here are the reasons I am going to seminary, and going to this particular school.

1. It’s been my plan since I was 19 years old. This is not a very good reason to go, but it’s part of it. Before I left to attend Moody Bible Institute in ‘02 I was completing an internship at my home church, Fox Valley Bible Church. During that time, two ministry passions rose to the surface, and both passions emerged from a general “calling” I felt to serve God in vocational ministry. This was not TO any specific place or people group, but just what I felt God was moving me toward. One of the passions was music ministry. I loved, and still love, to lead God’s people in true, heartfelt worship. I have grown a lot in this area since then. But the other passion was to preach/teach and disciple. I was very inexperienced at this, but felt that it was something God was perhaps gearing me for. So the question was, should I major in music or in more of a Biblical/theological/pastor major? After much prayer and counsel, I decided to be a music major at Moody(which I am glad I did), and end my official music education there. But I would have to go on to seminary to pursue more biblical/theological/pastoral studies. So I’m still on this track, and these two passions have developed more, and have become more intense for me.

2. Because of the need out there. I feel that the tools I will pick up from this type of education will help in God’s Kingdom. I believe in a learned clergy. This does not mean that all pastors need formal training; for many, especially outside the U.S., this is simply not possible. But I believe that all pastors should be disciplined and rigorous in their study and exposure to the Word of God, and should use whatever resources they have at their disposal. The reason for this is so that one may, as much as possible, “handle accurately the Word of truth”, and know how to properly wield the sword called the Bible. And the reason we must wield this weapon accurately is because through the clear proclamation of it the Spirit of God will be at work as He wills, lives will be changed, the dead will hear and be raised, and the sleepers will receive an electric shock. I believe that it is the Spirit of God/the Word of God that will transform oppressed people and cultures in Africa, and will have the power to cause the richest man in America to give away everything he has for the Kingdom.

3. Because I want to. That’s another beautiful thing about this. I’m really looking forward to better reading my bible in Greek and Hebrew, to plumb the depths of the Bible, to fellowship with other like-minded men, to face the challenges to my mind and heart, to be discipled, to know Christ more, to have my passion for God’s mission on this earth fueled more and more. I really have a hunger for this, and that contributes to my reasons for wanting to go. I know that there will be times when I wish I hadn’t gone, but that’s all part of it, and I’m confident I’ll pull through, if He wills and enables it. Someone once said, regarding finding God’s will, “Just love God, and do what you want.”

4. Because I need to. I need more preparation both in my mind and heart for what God is preparing me for. I have a hazy idea of what that will be, but I feel that I need this preparation. It will not be a waste, no matter what happens afterward. But I have a strong sense that I need to have more time of preparation before diving right in, which I’ve been tempted to do more than once. Sometimes I think of Spurgeon, who was shepherding a huge church while still a teenager, and wonder, “What am I waiting for?” Then I remember that I am not Spurgeon. I am encouraged by many other great men of God who have spent a good deal of their life in preparation before beginning their primary ministry. That did not mean that they did no ministry during that time; life was ministry to them in whatever form that took, and this will be true for me. I’m excited about the ministry opportunities in Birmingham. Jesus was 30 years old when he began. I’ll be getting close to that by the time I finish school. I also know that I’m not Jesus, but you get the point!

I’m sure there are more reasons I’m not remembering right now. Chambers had a saying: “Trust God, and do the next thing.” That’s good advice, and that’s what I’m doing. A lot can happen in the next few years, but all I can see at this point is the “next thing”.

On to some things that have happened this week. Something big actually did take place here at New Hope. One of the “sons of New Hope” died suddenly of a blood clot that reached his heart. He was around 21 years old. He had grown up here, and was one of, if not THE best guy that has been produced here. Very godly, responsible, headed in a great direction. I heard that if anyone was going to be put in a place to really change Uganda, he was the guy. God took him out, leaving a lot of real hurt and pain and questions. I won’t go into detail on all of that, but the past few days have been very somber, as it really hit the community here very hard. It was a massive kick in the gut. His mother had died a number of years ago, so this family has already suffered a good deal. He was the firstborn son of their family. So I’ve been experiencing a community in heavy grieving over this. Things have moved on outwardly, but it will take some time for a lot of the people to get over this.

Two weeks from Tuesday of this week the Institute will be over. How it has flown by! I can’t believe my time here is coming to an end. Please pray for me as I try to seal in cement the things I have learned here. For my last two entries to come I will write about the top things I’ve learned since coming here. I’m grateful to you all for your prayers, whoever is still reading this blog! Please pray as I come to the end, and pray as I come home and experience the West through different eyes.

This week was a pretty standard week, nothing really out of the ordinary except for the foreign staff retreat. We left on Thursday morning and arrived that afternoon at a resort in the town of Jinja near the Nile River. It’s the seem place I went to about a month or so ago to go rafting. It was a time for all of the Western staff members and their families to get away and relax a bit, as well as to discuss difficulties and issues that face westerners in a unique way. I was asked to come along and lead our worship times, but the time there proved to be profoundly informative for me. The rest of this entry will consist of some reflections based on things I took away from this time.

In my head I have a list of things it will cost to serve God’s cause overseas in missions. Yes, you have to leave your land, friends, comforts, etc. One thing on that list is culture. I had previously not thought of this as a very big deal, but after this retreat I am realizing that it is probably the hardest thing to deal with on the mission field. You are forced to give up a lot of your culture and adjust to another culture. I don’t think I really yet understand this from an experiential perspective, but having heard these missionaries express some of their difficulties in this area I feel I have a better grasp on the matter. But why is this so hard? What are the difficulties that attend living in a different culture? I think the answer will be different depending on which culture you are leaving and to which culture you are going. But going from an American/British cultural to a third-world culture like the Ugandan bush, the clash of cultures is pronounced. Let me give some examples. Some of these I have experienced, and others can only be experienced by living here with a family for a more exteneded period of time.

The other day I was taking a nap on a hot afternoon, a siesta if you will. I heard a knock at the door. I thought in my head, “If I don’t answer, they will go away. I’m NOT HERE right now…I’m taking a nap, and it can wait.” In the States, if you knock and no one answers, you assume that they are either not home, or are busy and are choosing not to answer. Either way, you just leave and try again later. But this is not the States. The next thing I know the front door opens, and a stranger to me walks right into the room where I’m trying to sleep! He acted surprised, and asked me if Matthew(roomate) was here. He’s just walked through the house, so he knows he’s not there. But I said no, he’s off doing something else right now. He said thanks, and left. I was a bit shocked at this. I asked Matthew about it later, and he said that it was a fairly normal thing for good friends, whom this guy was to Matthew, a college classmate.

In America, when someone knocks on the door and you answer, you ask them what they have come for. Often you may invite them in, but usually they have some business with you if they show up for an unplanned, unannounced visit. They will not assume that you will invite them in. In fact, you don’t want to bother people, because they may have been busy, or in the middle of something important. It’s the exact opposite in Uganda. When they come to the door, you invite them in. You don’t ask them why they have come, especially when they are standing on your porch. It is quite rude to do so. You invite them in for a visit. They have come for relationship. If they have come just before dinner, you feed them. There doesn’t seem to be much concern for what you were busy doing, and it gets put on hold for an indefinite amount of time. Can you see how this might be hard for a Westerner to adjust to day after day, year after year? I actually like the practice of inviting people in, having an open-door policy. But there are times when I think I would just need to be alone, or just do my work in privacy. Privacy is non-existent for many here, especially in a community living environment like New Hope Uganda. It is a HIGHLY valued thing in the West. It’s not a big deal here.

A few other difficulties. The roads here are astoundingly awful. In the States many of them would simply be blocked off. On the way to the retreat we passed four or five large trucks that had tipped over and were laying on their side. The electricity is sporratic. At meetings there is a tedious formality, even for small things. People are generally always late for everything. There are donkeys that wake up everyone within a quarter mile at 5 am. Chickens are running everywhere, getting into gardens and even some houses, dropping their business. When you leave New Hope everyone is staring at you because you are white, a “mizungu” as they say. When you go into town to buy supplies people are constantly scamming you and raising their prices a few notches because they think all whites are rich, and they want a piece of it. A lot of the kids gossip and falsely slander the western staff. Some of the MK’s get teased and jokingly threatened by adults just to get a rise out of them. The whole mindset of the culture is so different, and often I myself just cannot understand or believe certain things go on, and are OK with the culture.

These are only a few things on the list. Imagine living here with your family for ten years. It will wear on you over time. It can really be a wearying thing. Yet every missionary who accepts the call to serve God’s kingdom in a different culture accepts the unknown, and knows that these things will be there. The cultural shift will be difficult. Some missionaries just burn out after a few years of this. Others endure it, and find a way to deal with it. Yet what I saw at this retreat was that everyone there has difficulties with these things, and a lot of adjustment is required, but they are all still here, still in God’s will, and are happy. They have found a way to deal with it, and everyone must find their own way to deal with it. I used to not understand why missionaries took furloughs, but now I can see why it would be helpful. To get back into the culture you know can mentally be a great refreshment.

These cultural difficulties are by no means a reason to leave the mission field, unless of course one fails to properly deal with it, or has false expectations, like hoping to change the culture. Some of the early missionaries tried to do this, and it caused a lot of harm to Christianity for generations. The gospel is not for one culture, and it’s not cultureless, but it is full of every culture, every tongue, tribe, people and nation. These are things I’m still just beginning to understand. But I do know that God provides the grace needed to carry out his mission whether the mission is to a western affluent society, a persecuted underground church Islamic society, or a war-torn, very different African society. It’s vital that we adjust to the culture we are placed it, and be strategic and creative about how to preach the gospel in such a way that it will speak to that culture, that the true gospel will come out with all it’s fullness and power. It will look a bit different than in the West, but it’s the same truth, the same faith. And by the way, our American culture is changing too. We must find a way to preach the gospel in such a way that it remains rooted in the Word, rooted in historic Christianity, yet cuts to the heart of the 21st century American, and tears down the false worldview and relativistic epistomology.

Finally, I would encourage you to pray for your missionaries in one new way, that is, to pray that they might stand firm in their different culture. Pray that they would have true rest in the midst of it. Pray that through their struggle the gospel might shine more brightly. Pray that they themselves would be sanctified more and more through these difficulties, and that culture-transcending, humanity-transforming, God-glorifying gospel would come out clearly.

I apologize to those of you who checked the blog on Monday for the regular update, and found only last week’s blog entry. I’ve been a little busy lately, and I completely spaced on Monday regarding the blog, and didn’t remember until about 11:00 at night. I didn’t really know what to write about, to be honest, but I was faced with something very interesting today, an issue I have thought about before, but have never really dealt with it very much. Before I get into that issue, I will tell you what’s been happening here with me.

Things are going along pretty normally. There are small issues here and there, but nothing worth writing home about, so I won’t. In class we learned about Christian education, being that there is a well-developed Christian school on site. Much of it was pretty straight forward, but not particularly challenging to me personally, to be honest. I can’t believe I’m coming home in a little over four weeks! It’s going to be strange being back in the States. I’ve sort of become used to living here, and it’s strange to think of going back. I will be glad to be home, mind you, but it will be a bit strange at first, I think. I’ve been totally out of the loop on current events, especially on the REALLY important things, like the Cubs or the Bears (Chicago sports teams, not the animals). I hear things at times, but the seasons have moved along and will end before I know it. If anyone knows of current events I should know about, leave me a comment! (Except if Hillary is up in the polls- I don’t want to hear that.)

Tuesday and Wednesday of this week have been/will be unique days. A parachurch organization called CHE(Christian Holistic Empowerment), which exists in many countries including Uganda, came to do a presentation for the Institute and a lot of the staff. Their vision is to partner with local churches, particularly in third-world countries, and minister with them in a more holistic ministry to the whole person- physically and spiritually. They seek to promote health, get people out of poverty not by handouts(which ironically has been a powerful agent in crippling much of Africa’s economy) but by teaching people how to live, and using all of this as a means to bring in the gospel.

I really don’t have anything bad to say about this group. From what I have seen so far they are on the right track, in my opinion. Poverty, as you know, is a real problem in Uganda. Many of the small village church pastors really struggle to get their people out of a poverty mindset. People grow crops and get just enough to live on, and it never occurs to them to try to get out of that kind of living. The West has tried to fix the situation by giving handouts, but this merely takes away responsibility and ownership, and in the end leaves people worse off than before. What they need is people to go in and teach these people basic things like cleanliness, sanitation, first aid, how to multiply your crops and money, how to raise cattle and fish, etc. This takes time and attention. I like that this group emphasises the local church, and goes so far as to say that there is no hope without the local church. They seek to minister the physical, long-term needs of people, as well as the spiritual.

Yet what is the goal of all of this physical ministry? It’s easy to explain why we should preach the gospel and do discipleship. But why the ministry to the physical? Some people say that it is a MEANS to spiritual transformation, that by showing them the love of Christ a door is open to explain the gospel. This is basically what I heard from this parachurch group. The other extreme is that it’s basically pointless to minister to the physical needs of people, because they are going to die and spend eternity in hell if we don’t just give them gospel. So don’t waste your time on those other things. This second approach is easy to refute, based on a host of Old and New Testament passages which talk about helping widows, orphans, remembering the poor, doing it “unto the least of these”, visiting those in prison, etc. Yet I think many Christians believe that physical ministry is secondary to gospel ministry. There is a dichotomy between gospel ministry of the Word, and meeting physical needs, between the great commandment and the great commission. Most honest, Bible-believing Christians I think would agree that yes, we need to meet people’s physical needs, but it’s only a means to giving them the gospel, which is the first approach stated above.

This is certainly true, yet I think there is a deeper, richer foundation for the meeting of physical needs, and it is in no way separated from real gospel ministry. It goes hand in hand with what God seeks to accomplish through the gospel, and we must not separate the two. Physical needs ministry is just as gospel centered and necessary as spiritual needs ministry, and we want to have a Biblical perspective on the matter which, I believe, expresses this more holistic view.

The churches here in the villages are very poor. It’s not like a lot of our American churches that have money set aside in case a homeless man comes to their church seeking food, or if a family can’t afford to fix their car or something. Here everyone is in poverty, and so a vital, key, frontline ministry for every church here should include a strategic ministry to the impoverished people.

But why exactly? Let’s take a step back and ask this: Why should we as Christians meet physical needs at all? There is a deep sense in us that we should, which is good, but why? I think that when we can articulate why, we will have a much greater drive and motivation to carry out God’s ministry to the the world in need.

The answer, I believe, is rooted in our role as God’s image-bearing, vice-regents on the earth. When God created mankind, He created us in His image, and we were given the charge to rule the earth. One primary aspect of this image of God includes our purpose on this earth, which is to rule and live in it under God rule, with the charge to rule it as he would, as his representatives. When man decided to get out from under God’s good rule, that image-bearing role was severely marred, and we became virtually incapable of bearing this image. The image was still there, but it was a dead image, needing resurrection. The man was cursed, as was the whole earth. Hate, murder, pride, vanity, lust, greed, lies, and rebellion became the dominant traits on the earth, all of which can lead to the war and poverty which we see today. Perhaps the poverty might not come about until generations later, but it did come.

In Christ we see the true image of God. Jesus perfectly modeled for us what it means to reflect God’s image. He was the perfect image of God, the true man. He showed us what it means to be truly human, in an unfallen state. He perfectly exemplified love in his life and death. Yet he did not just preach and teach. He healed the sick, caused the blind to see, and raised the dead. He felt compassion for the crowds, and fed them, both physically(feeding 5,000), and spiritually (I am the bread of life).

In Christ, the image of God is restored, and this image is being made new in us. We are in the process of transformation. We are beginning, right NOW, to live out the new creation, which has broken in to the present day, these last days. It has begun in the church, and will one day be consummated finally. 2 Cor. 5:17- “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, the new has come.” We are now able to be true humans, and Christ has shown us how to live as true humans. He has also enabled us to be this way by his work on the cross and resurrection from the dead. We can begin to clearly reflect His glory to this earth, and once again rule the earth as He intended us to do it, to govern it under His rule as He would rule it. We are His redeemed representatives.

I know I’ve stated this truth quickly and not very completely, it has vast implications for the church’s impact on the world. It means that we should seek to redeem our culture and world through the gospel. So in this African context, the goal should be redeem people in Christ from the inside out. I think there are two angles from which we can come from in ministering to physical needs. First, we should minister to others because of who we are as image bearing, glory-reflecting people. We want to show God’s love to people by doing what Jesus did on the earth, simply because it puts God’s glory on display, which God delights in. We demonstrate the love of God. Those who fail to show this kind of love in physical ministry to others make it evident that they do not belong to God. This is seen the story of the sheep and goats in Matthew 25:31ff. “The he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you crused, into the eternal fire prepared for the devila nd his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did no welcome me, nake and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ ” Jesus goes on to say that when you did not do it unto the least of these, you did not do it unto me.

I mentioned above that there were two reasons, but I guess there is just one. Our ministry is reflection of God, and a reflection of who we are in him. To ask the question presented in the title of this blog, should I help the poor, of preach the gospel? The answer of course, is both. In helping the poor were are preaching the gospel. Helping the poor is a great part of gospel ministry. It’s like asking if we should live out what we believe, or just talk about it. We want to stay away on the one side from the extreme that says we should just help the poor because of our compassion for them, which is humanitarian and good, but it’s not the essence of the gospel. We must not lose sight of the gospel! Keep it central! We must also stay away from the other extreme which says we should just preach the gospel, and leave the physical ministry up to others who enjoy that kind of thing. If we go to either extreme we fail to clearly reflect the gospel, and fail to fully live out our purpose on this earth.

I hope this has been food for thought. It faces all of us in one way or another every day. I’m very challenged by this. It’s so easy to lose sight of the big picture of what God is doing on this earth. I need to remind myself of it every day, so I don’t get lost in the trees. Please leave me a comment if you disagree with anything I’ve said here, or would like to add to it. I welcome your input.

I will be leading worship this Thursday through Saturday for a staff retreat here. It’s for the foreign staff, which means it’s ok to sing songs with lots of words and content, which will be nice. Pray that it would be a spiritually(and physically!) refreshing time for all, and that affections would be highly raised.

Grace and peace. 

For this week’s entry I would like to talk about an issue that is near and dear to my heart. Those of you who know me know that one of my strong desires is to see God more glorified in the corporate worship of His people, the church. During my time here I have been evaluating some of the chuches I have been to, and trying to reconcile some of the practices. I’ve tried to decide why I’m bothered. Is it cultural difference, or is there real room for improvement? The answer, or course, is both. I have many thoughts on this issue, but I will first update you all on what is happening in my life in this little pocket of Uganda.

I have exhausted all of my easy reading books which I brought with me. The only ones left are The Works of Edwards and another book on postmodern hermeneutics which I felt motivated to bring with. Both are huge books, and are guaranteed to last me until I get home and beyond. But I often don’t have the mental energy to take on such books, so I am borrowing a lot of books from Keith. Right now I’m reading The Holiness of God, by Sproul. It’s a great, refreshing, challenging book. A staple for Christian reading. I’m also reading another strange fictional book which I won’t mention here. I find that I have a lot of time these days, more than before. I read and write a lot. My relationship with a few of the older guys in my family group is really getting good and familial, and I’m able to give more and more solid input into their lives. My only regret is that I’m leaving in 5-6 weeks, and will become yet another person who has come in, stayed for a bit, then left. So many people leave. There’s really not much I can do about this though.

In class we are learning about Christian education, sort of going through a philosophy of Christian teaching. We’ve had some good conversations so far. This Tuesday we have no class due to the Ugandan independence day. Next week is the foreign staff retreat for New Hope. It will be all westerners I believe, from the States and from the U.K. We’ll be away for 3 days, and I’ve been asked to lead worship for it. I’m very excited about it. I get the feeling that often the Westerners are not as “fed” as they perhaps would like to be by the corporate singing worship each Sunday, so I’m praying that God would use this time to refresh their hearts and enliven holy affections. The director’s son, Jeremiah, will be playing djembe with me. He’s only about 10 years old, and is a bit insecure I think. But he capable of holding his own, and it will be a good time for him to learn and grow in this area as I work with him.

Here’s a prayer item which has me slightly vexed. As many of you know, I plan on attending seminary in January. I had finally chosen which one I wanted to go to, and I am supposed to find out soon whether or not I got in. Getting in to the school by itself is not the thing that I’m concerned about. I’m concerned because if I don’t get it, I have no plan B. I have no backup seminary because I decided on THIS particular one, and excluded the rest. I’m not quite sure what I’ll do if I don’t get in. I may get in very easily, and have nothing to worry about. I really don’t know. The thing I really don’t want is to sit around and wait. I’ve been out of school for two years now, and I really desire to know and grow more in that setting.  I should find out in the next two weeks what I’m going to do, and I’ll let you all know what happens.

Now for the issue mentioned above. Let me first explain the situation the way I’m seeing it, then I will propose a few possible ways we may be able to improve upon it. This may sound funny to you that I think this way, and I know it’s not as clear cut as “problem-solution”, but it helps to think through the issue. I know it also sounds incredibly presumptuous for me to offer solutions to the problem, so let me just say I probably don’t see things exactly as they are, and I know I’m not thinking of every issue this relates to. I’m a Westerner, an outsider. I’m writing this so that all of you in the States are privy to what I’m learning and thinking through these days. Feel free to offer your critiques when I’m finished.

It’s difficult to identify the root issue of the problem, so let me share a few symptoms to give you an idea. I’m disheartened and disturbed by something I see in our corporate worship. This is not true in every church here- this is a generality. Some of my concerns are Western concerns, and others are what I feel are biblical concerns. Some concerns arise from the fact that I’ve led worship so much, and can’t help but be a bit critical. I’m just trying to understand it. Here are some things that stick out to me. Musically, I don’t see any real beauty or musicality. We use a fake, synthesized drum set. We use a synthesized keyboard sound. The chord selection rarely gets beyond the I, the IV, and the V(don’t worry about it if you don’t know what this means). There are others, but these aren’t the most important thing. You can still have wonderful, God-honoring worship with sub-par music. It’s not about that. It’s only a problem to me when the drum beat sounds like I’m at a circus, and the music starts to communicate something other than the words are communicating.

Content. The content is usually pretty shallow and repetitive. There are certainly a few good songs in there. I crave for these on Sunday morning. I’m not asking them to be like the West. I don’t think content is a Western thing. It’s a Bible thing- it’s a huge book full of meaningful content. Yet most people seem content to dwell on a phrase over and over and over. Which leads to another issue: affectation. Affectation is when you seek to get people excited, and get their emotions/affections raised using something other than the object of the affections itself. That’s my underdeveloped definition. The best example of this would be to use excessive volume or repitition to get people excited in their worship. That becomes an end in itself. This is quite common everywhere. I believe there is a place for repetition, and I believe with all my heart that our affections need to be raised when we come before God in worship. But what are we raising the affections with? Jonathan Edwards put it this way: “I desire to raise the affections of my hearers as high as I possibly can, provided they are affected with nothing but the truth…”

A few other things. It’s only a slight exaggeration to say that everyone is always late. This is a cultural thing. But it can easily become a lazy thing, and therefore a sin thing. Nevermind that half the congregation doesn’t arrive until 20 minutes into the service. I played guitar this past Sunday for the first time. We were NOT ready. The leader was not familiar with the music. We got started an hour late the day before to practice, and I had to leave. The next morning when I thought we would rehearse, we did about 5 minutes of run-through, and that was it. Now I was not terribly disturbed about this, being an outsider, an observer. But it’s another piece of the puzzle.

Do you get the picture? So WHY are things this way? Let me say first of all that the church has come a LONG way in the past few years. They are making great strides forward as a church, and the leadership has really been getting their act together. I know they are doing all they can right now, and I don’t fault them in the slightest. I don’t fault anyone in fact. People are products of their culture, and what were seeing is the culture reflected in the church. People like the electronic drums because it represents development and technology. Perhaps the reason there is so little content is because people aren’t used to reading much, and perhaps aren’t used to taking in big thoughts and pieces of information. Some are totally illiterate. People are late for church, late for practice, because that’s the culture. It’s REALLY hard to change things like that which are so engrained in people.

Now perhaps you are saying to yourself, “What is his problem? Why is he thinking about this so much?” It’s the same reason why we work hard at preaching, or teaching, or doing anything in life as Christians: God must be glorified. I want to see Him glorified MORE. I’m not questioning the hearts of these people. Their hearts are good, I think. I can’t speak to that. But the big thought that is going through my head on Sunday morning is this: If only they knew how good it could be. If only they could experience what it’s like to have your mind and heart fully engaged in great expectation Sunday after Sunday. I think many of them just don’t realize the feast that could be theirs. I could be wrong about this. But that’s my heart. I want them to know, to see, to think and feel.

Now if I encountered this situation in America, and was told to go in and change it, it would be difficult, but very possible. I think I know how I would attempt to go about it. You cast a biblical, God-saturated vision for worship in the church, shepherd your people over time, provide solid leadership to your worship team, and bathe it all in prayer. That’s the simplistic version. I know it’s not quite that clear cut. But in Africa there are worldview and cultural barriers which are not easy to change, and if you do it wrongly, you can step on more than people’s toes.

In talking with a few of the missionaries here, what seems to be needed is a good leader who can shepherd that ministry long-term. Many people blow in and out, like me, and can offer bits of help. But a good musical, pastoral leader is needed for this, and I think it needs to be a Ugandan. A Westerner may be able to train such a person, but someone in the culture I think needs to spearhead such a thing. There seems to be a lack of vision for the ministry due to a lack of a vision-casting leader who will take the bull by the horns and stick with it.

Let me be clear: I love the Church. My heart is there. I’m not being critical to be critical, but because I want God to be seen and savored there. I want them to feast as I have.

I can get hopeless when I think about big and wide the problem stretches, and what kind of challenges face the Ugandan church. All the more reason to have pastors who can really teach their people well, and shepherd them Biblically. All the more reason to have people come and train pastors here. Since God relates to everything and everything to God, the problems in Uganda are theological problems, requiring theological solutions at the root. All that means is that the Holy Spirit is desperately needed to open eyes to God and His truth, and to sanctify people.

I’m proud of you if you made it this far in the blog entry. You are probably more confused than ever. I know I am. If you’re still unclear, come over here and see for yourself! Why not? My desire for the church is that she would be a pure, spotless bride before Christ. That we would present every person complete in Christ. To labor for the joy of the peoples. I want them to know God more, to worship Him in spirit and in truth. God is seeking such worshippers, and may more true worshippers be born as we proclaim God’s truth. I resonate with the cry of the Psalmist: “May the peoples praise You O God! May all the peoples praise You!”

This question stems from some discouragement I was dealing with a couple of weeks ago. You could probably sense some of the struggle in my last entry. Let me first tell you what exactly the struggle was, then I will tell you how I’ve gotten out of it. In the midst of this I hope you will be encouraged when you encounter such situations, as they are pretty much guaranteed for any Christian who does the smallest amount of ministry or who cares even a little bit about those whom he/she ministers to.

The question I struggled with was this: What am I supposed to do or think when I work hard in my ministry, and see zero results for my efforts? This question was not merely theoretical. It was experiential. I know the answer to the question in my head, but there was a wall in place when it came to grasping and experiencing it in my heart and affections. You see, I was discouraged with my efforts here in Uganda, most specifically with the kids I have developed relationships with in my family group. Now I know I am not here to produce any radical change. God can do that if he wishes. But the real ministry impact belongs to the people who spend their years pouring into these kids, laboring for the long haul. But my hope is that God might use me in a small way, as God has used people in my past whom I only had a chance to know for maybe a week or a month.

I think a few factors were converging to bring me to this point. The first factor is a feeling of restlesness in doing ministry. I do a lot of things here, but a lot of it is not “ministry” in the official sense. I worked part-time at a church before coming to Uganda. I led a ministry. I established relationships poured into some people. Yet here the ministry is much less formal. My heart longs to labor harder for God’s Kingdom, and to DO things, to undertake projects and advancements for God. But this is not the place nor the time for anything big like that. It will come, and I need to be patient. I know God is working on my heart here, big time. I think this is at least one of the primary reasons God brought me here. My work is to let Him work on my heart, to work out my salvation with fear and trembling, as He accomplished His work and will in me.

The second factor is a lack of apparent results in one of the only outward ministries I have here, which I am becoming more convinced is yet another way that God is working on my heart. The ministry is with the kids in my family group. I came to realize a while ago that I can’t possibly seek to disciple everyone, or closely impact everyone. So I picked three guys to meet with. Yet I failed to realize a key piece to the puzzle in a situation like this: Do they want this? I realized that they don’t want to sit and drink in the Word, drink in the weighty matters of God as I would. They just aren’t ready yet. So I decided to just start BEING with them, having fun with them, and let the conversations go where they will. Anyhow, I began to despair of any change in their hearts and lives. I thought they had too much past baggage, and they are too anesthetised to the things of God for it to make an impact. On a deeper level, I despair of God bringing any real sanctifying change in their lives.

I believe God brought me to this point for a reason, and that reason was so that I would despair of any fruit coming from MY efforts, and learn to trust Him wholly for the results. That way He is more glorified. I’ve felt this way often when it comes to evangelism. So what should we do? Should we stop evangelizing and just focus inwardly on our people in church? Of course not. We know this. The right answer is that we should labor with all our might for the gospel, work with people for their joy, keep a close watch on ourselves and the teaching, not grow weary in doing good, and continue on with endurance.

Before I tell you what happened that brought me out of this discouragement, I must ask you the question I am now even asking myself: What is your motivation as you labor in gospel ministry? Are you a results driven person? This is not to say that we shouldn’t desire or expect results. But they will come in God’s way, in His time. Let me ask it a different way. Do you labor that you might see results NOW, or do you labor in HOPE that God will build His kingdom, that He alone will cause growth in His way and time, and do you believe this verse- “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”? (1 Cor. 15:58)

This is something that I am beginning to internalize. One thing that encouraged me was the Scriptures. Looking at Isaiah’s struggle, and especially Paul’s own struggle in these areas, I’m encouraged to see how He pressed on. The other thing that encouraged/humbled me was a situation that arose with one of our family groups here at New Hope. A type of rebellion broke out. You see, each family group is responsible to work and grow a lot of their own food, and take care of their family compound area by keeping it hoed and clean and keeping the grass cut. They should go out every day for an hour or two to work, sometimes longer.  They hadn’t all gone to work in several weeks, and the kids were refusing to work. Without going into the details, these kids are dearly loved by their family father, and by the other workers here. They have poured into them for years. Now we find that they are backbiting and being very mean to those who love them.

I came by to see Keith one day to find him slashing on their compound, which is next to his house. He had been there all day. They were just sitting by, watching him and George, the family father, do their job. The natural consequence of their lack of work is that they would not eat until the work was done. So to show their love, and to disciple their hearts, they went to work slashing. Oh- if you don’t know, slashing is cutting grass with a slasher, which looks like a golf club. I get blisters every time I do it. What humbled me about their situation is that they have worked SO much harder than me in these kids lives, and they are getting open rebellion, not just lukewarmness.

So you know, that family is doing much better, and things are beginning to be dealt with, and healing is starting. But I came to see how small my discouragement was compared to their issues. I felt like such a whiner. My discouragement really was not that heavy, and it did not last long. Not a big deal. But I thought it worth probing into and dealing with so that when it comes in bigger ways later, I will have thought through it to some degree. Long explanation.

On to current events. I preached at the “mega church” this past Sunday, here at New Hope. It’s really just a couple hundred people, which is huge compared to the surrounding churches who usually max out at 50 people. They have been preaching through the Biblical storyline, and they allowed me to preach on the Exodus story. It went well! Thanks to all who prayed. Here are some difficulties I found: I felt very slowed down by the translator, because I wanted to go faster and establish a rhythm, but couldn’t. I was preaching on Genesis 1-15. Not an easy task. But I came out with a full manuscript, and only referred to it during my message. I had one good compliment from Moses, one of my family guys, who said that this was the first time in a while that he paid attention the whole time. I love the honesty.

I saw someone recording the sermon on his computer, so I hope to get a copy of it that I might critique myself more. But it really is difficult with a translator. It is very necessary of course. But I think if I were to end up in a foreign country like Uganda, where most people speak English(at least in the halfway educated parts- many of the villagers know very little English), I would have to be fluent in the common language, enough to preach in it.

Well, that’s all I have for today. I hope you have been encouraged, and I hope you will remember Christian that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. Keeping running the race with endurance, and allow God to take from you the glory that only He deserves. Keep laboring where God has placed you, and don’t slack off when you don’t see results. Cry out to Him and seek His face when you don’t know how to continue on, or don’t know how to make sense of a situation. He is faithful, and will show you the way if you dilligently seek Him.